About Ja’ire Hattley, MA, LMFT
Couples & Intimacy Therapist | Speaker | Clinical Contributor
Hi — I’m Ja’ire (pronounced Jay-Air) (she/her). I’m a California Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist specializing in couples therapy, intimacy and sex therapy, and emotional connection work — as well as individual therapy for burnout, anxiety, relational wounds and trust injuries, ADHD-related overwhelm, and life transitions.
Most people who come to work with me are not lacking effort — they’re caught in patterns of disconnection, emotional strain, overwhelm, or relationship gridlock that haven’t shifted even though they’ve been trying hard. They care deeply about their relationships and their inner lives — and they want real repair, healing, growth, and change.
My work focuses on restoring emotional safety, rebuilding intimacy and desire, and helping individuals and couples move out of survival mode so clarity, connection, and intentional choice can return in ways that feel grounded and sustainable.
How I Work
My approach is warm, direct, and trauma-informed. I integrate attachment science, intimacy and desire work, and relational nervous system repair into practical, personalized therapy tailored to your lived experience. Sessions are honest, collaborative, and focused on the deeper patterns underneath your reactions, relationship dynamics, and emotional responses — without being overwhelming or shaming.
I don’t rush vulnerability.
I don’t avoid sexuality, power dynamics, or rupture.
I don’t stop at communication tips alone.
We work where patterns actually form — so change holds.
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I work with:
• emotionally and sexually disconnected couples
• betrayal and trust rupture recovery
• desire discrepancy and intimacy challenges
• monogamous and consensually non-monogamous (ENM) relationships
• burnout, anxiety, and chronically overwhelmed individuals
• clients navigating life transitions
• ADHD individuals and partners
• clients exploring identity, sexuality, and relationship history
I provide affirming, non-judgmental care for LGBTQIA+ folks, BIPOC, and BDSM/kink-positive clients and relationships.
My goal is for you to feel respected, understood, and able to show up fully as yourself from the start.
“A problem cannot be solved by the same level of consciousness that created it.”_Albert Einstein
My Clinical Lens
My work is guided by what I call the Attachment & Erotic Repair Model — an integrated framework that focuses on repairing the foundations that allow intimacy and connection to thrive.
This includes three core areas:
• Emotional safety and attachment — Helping you feel secure enough to be seen, honest, and emotionally real
• Erotic aliveness (desire, vitality, agency) — Restoring the capacity to want, feel, and experience connection as chosen rather than pressured
• Relational nervous system regulation — Helping individuals and couples move out of survival patterns and into connection
In my work, “erotic” refers to aliveness — the capacity to feel desire, connection, and vitality in a way that is safe, embodied, and chosen.
Clinical Publications, Education, Training & Credentials:
I am a published clinical contributor to the professional text Merging Clinical Social Work Practice and Antiracist Positioning (Peter Lang Publishing), where I authored Chapter 2: The Impact of Racism and Racial Gaslighting on Practice. My contribution presents applied clinical frameworks for antiracist, trauma-informed therapeutic work and culturally responsive care.
My graduate and clinical training includes:
MA, Clinical Psychology — Antioch University Los Angeles
BA, Communication Studies — UCLA
Clinical Training — Antioch University Counseling Center
Primary Therapist — Center for Healthy Sex
Primary Clinician- Psychedelica Collective - Ketamine-Assisted Psychotherapy
Advanced training environments in intimacy, attachment, and trauma repair
Ketamine-assisted therapy–informed settings and collaborative care experience
Member — California Association of Marriage & Family Therapists (CAMFT)
My work integrates clinical rigor, relational depth, and culturally responsive care.
Background & Perspective
Before becoming a therapist, I spent two decades working in performance and live creative environments. That experience sharpened my ability to stay present, emotionally attuned, and grounded under pressure — skills that directly support how I hold therapeutic space today.
My early volunteer work included addiction recovery programs, shelters for abused women and children, senior care communities, and programs for underserved populations. These formative experiences shaped my commitment to dignity-centered care, relational healing, and culturally responsive practice.
Real connection can grow when you no longer feel guarded, pressured, shut down.
If You’re Ready to Begin
Therapy with me is warm, collaborative, and focused on meaningful, lasting change. We start with a complimentary consultation to understand what’s been happening and determine whether working together feels like the right fit.
Speaking, Workshops, & Professional Collaboration
I’m available for professional speaking, trainings, and collaborative events across clinical, organizational, and community settings.
Available for:
speaking engagements
clinical trainings
intimacy & relationship workshops
mental health panels
podcast interviews
organizational wellness events
Topics include:
sex, intimacy, & desire
attachment & relational safety
burnout & nervous system regulation
betrayal & trust repair
ADHD & relational dynamics
culturally responsive and affirming therapy
Professional inquiries are welcome.